The Honoree

Who doesn’t love getting invited to a party? I just got a big invitation – and by that I mean it measures 16” x 13” in size – suitable for framing, as they say. It’s a tad unusual. First, it comes from Senator Elizabeth Dole. She’s apparently the Chair of something called the 25th Anniversary Republican Senatorial Inner Circle Commission, which is a whopping if not impressive moniker. Her invitation confers a “warrant of 25th Anniversary Membership” to yours truly, who is referred to in dulcet tone as “the Honoree”. That’s also unusual; it’s been a few months since I was last honored by a member of the United States Senate.

My warrant goes on to declare to all present that “the Honoree (again, that’s me) is a Republican Leader in the Bakersfield community, a steadfast supporter of President George W. Bush and invited to be one of the one hundred in California to achieve this recognition.” One of 100 in California! I can only assume that this puts me in a small smoking tent with Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Representatives Bill Thomas and Mary Bono, former Governor and U.S. Senator Pete Wilson, former Governor George Deukmejian, Nancy Reagan, Michael Reagan, and the other 92 of our good-fellow party leaders. Even Maria Shriver isn’t getting an invite to this Inner Circle! Before affixing “the Great Anniversary Seal”, the warrant notes with due solemnity that the Honoree (remember, that’s me) “is known to represent the highest Republican ideals and principles”. Like I said, this is unusual on several counts.

An invitation this large deserves a similarly large RSVP. In this case, the RSVP is to be returned in the form of a large check in the amount of, as Tony S. would say, Two to Five Large. I’ve often paid dearly for going to a party, but this one is asking for a little more payment than most. Unfortunately, it appears that there’s no other way for me to “achieve this recognition”. I confess that, as a dedicated underachiever, I’m not familiar with the alchemic "Republican ideal” that turns a four-figure donation to a political party into an “achievement”. Maybe if I were a Native American who owns and operates a casino I’d be more familiar with this Harry Potteresque principle. I just don’t know Jack (about it). (Yes, I know that line is not original, but I had to toss it in.)

I can only hope that number 101 on the list of Republican Leaders in California is ready, willing and able to step into the void created when I send in my regrets. That, of course, assumes there are more than 100 Republican Leaders in California, now that Representative Duke Cunningham has been de-listed.

One is left wondering how we honorees get selected. I don't even know where the Republican Party office is located in Bakersfield, assuming we have one, and I'm a few clicks shy of being a steadfast supporter of President W. Admittedly, I’ve been a registered Republican all my adult life. In the 11 presidential elections since I first worked as a Goldwater campaign volunteer in 1964, I've supported the Republican candidate nine times. Over the years I’ve voted for more Republicans than Democrats for key offices, such as U.S. Senator and Representative. While I have voted for Diane Feinstein in California, I've never even momentarily considered voting for Barbara Boxer.

Well, “the times they are a changing”, not necessarily with respect to Barbara Boxer, but with respect to representing anything that makes me worthy of being a Republican Honoree. The problem is simple: I’m rapidly losing sight of the vaunted “Republican ideals and principles”. Notwithstanding the opinion of the Honorable Senator from North Carolina, those ideals and principles have not been representative of me, nor have I been representative of them, over the last few years. The Bush II administration has precipitated something akin to an existential crisis for me, and for many others like me. Don’t get me wrong – I am not by comparison proclaiming the Democrats to be in possession of the “highest ideals and principles”; they certainly have their own integrity issues. I'm just noting the increased separation between me and the other 99 Republican Leaders in the great state of California. As much as I'd love to enjoy a fine Arturo Fuente or Cohiba Red Dot Churchill in Arnold's smoking tent, they’re going to have to proceed without me.

I don’t need to say more about that separation now. It will be made clear as I write here. If the Republican Senatorial Inner Circle Commission had read what little I’ve written here to date, it would have saved them one nicely embossed, duly sealed, 16” x 13”, suitable-for-framing certificate. And, it wouldn’t have kept the 101st Republican Leader in California waiting so long to have her or his Two to Five Large achievement recognized. My apologies to all concerned for any inconvenience I may have caused.