Mean People Suck

A few years ago a very succinct bumper sticker was popular. It said, “Mean People Suck”. I smirked with approval every time I saw it. I included mean-spirited people on the previously mentioned “things-I-really-dislike-a-lot” list.

Mean-spiritedness isn’t particularly easy to describe. I know it when I see or hear it, but it doesn’t boil down to one simple definition. A string of definitions might adequately profile mean-spirited people:

· “Mean-spirited” means: characterized by a malicious or petty spirit
· “Malicious” means: deliberately harmful or spiteful
· “Spite” means: ill will prompting an urge to hurt or humiliate
· “Petty” means: trivial or marked by narrowness of mind
· “Spirit” means: the animating force or essential nature of a person

Those definitions probably capture it. Mean people are deliberately hurtful; they look for ways to humiliate others; their actions are rooted in a narrow-minded view of the world. Some of these people are boldly mean; others are like snipers who hide under some form of cover and take single shots at people when least expected. No matter their modus operandi, they are, indeed, spiteful and petty people who are almost universally disliked.

When I look at the meanings above, the definitional characteristic that strikes me is narrow-mindedness, though I confess that characteristic wasn’t part of the profile I had in mind before consulting the dictionary. As I think of it, however, it seems fairly clear that mean-spirited people crawl out of small-minded places and direct their malice toward anyone who dares to think, speak or walk outside their tiny frame of reference.

Anyone who has read more than a few postings on this blog probably has no difficulty predicting where this is going. At the top of my mean-spirited hit list are the religious zealots and political extremists I’ve written about. I can get downright mean-spirited when I talk about these people. Take your pick from this litter. Whether Christian, Muslim, Jew, Republican, Democrat, or some other hard-core religious or political devotee, if s/he is occupying the low ground on either end of the bell curve, you'll find a poster child for mean-spiritedness. On the other hand, take your pick from among the many, many people who occupy the higher ground around, ironically, the statistical mean, and you’re not nearly as likely to find meanness. Moderation has a way of … well … moderating the thoughts, emotions, rhetoric and actions of the people who are broadminded enough to see the possibility that there could be another possibility to see. The “higher ground” reference is meaningful – the folks in the middle of the spectrum can see farther and thus can take in more “views”.

The low-ground, lowlife denizens on the extreme right and left can’t admit the possibility that anyone who disagrees with them could have a point of view worth considering. But, rather than express their differing view in a decent manner, they employ humiliating or hurtful words and actions, words and actions that say far more about them than about their intended targets.

Sadly, this meanness seems embedded in a mean person’s nature. However, having a higher view of human nature than many of these folks do, I don’t think that’s actually the case. I think their meanness is embedded in their insecurity, which is embedded in their fear. Their meanness is a defense mechanism, intended to protect themselves and their ego from the things that go bump outside the narrow limits of their world, which is their version of “the night”.

Unfortunately, these people do hurt and humiliate others. After all, their targets are also insecure and fearful to one extent or another, and are thus exposed and vulnerable to these snipers. That leads me to conclude that the best defense against mean-spirited people is personal well being and a strong sense of “I’m OK, even if you’re not OK.”

In the meantime, while each of us is clawing our way to such well being, we should bring back the bumper sticker that makes it clear how we feel about the mean-spirited people among us, the so-called adults who are still acting like schoolyard bullies. They’re cowards; and they suck.