A Threat to the American Family...?

In the midst of this last week’s “debate” on the proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, we heard the oft-repeated warning that such unions pose a grave threat to the American family. Since I first heard this dire pronouncement I’ve yet to hear anyone explain to me how the American family is in fact threatened or undermined by gay marriage.

My family is not threatened by it. I’ve not heard anyone else I know say that their family is threatened by it. I’ve asked people who are devoted Christians if they believe their family is threatened by it and without exception they say “No”. Most of them assert a belief that their faith and the teachings to which they and their family adhere are a protection against any influence that gay marriage may have in their home. I would expect them to say that.

So, whose family is threatened? I mean actually threatened, not some theoretical threat. The theory seems to be that families who have children that are not protected by divinely-revealed “truth” on this matter are threatened because their children may be induced to experiment with the so-called “gay lifestyle” and that could lead them into gay relationships and that would result in the loss of a future hetero-based family. That is one far-fetched theory.

The influence of the “gay lifestyle” is already evident, if not prevalent, in our society. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, movies and TV shows have integrated gay characters and stories into the daily entertainment of America, and with the dramatically increased openness in our society regarding sexual orientation who doesn’t know one or more gay individuals or couples? How many kids, or adults for that matter, have been drawn into gay experimentation as a result of this fairly pervasive influence? None that I know or have heard about; none that anyone I know knows or has heard about. Are we back to theoretical possibilities again?

Is it possible that some kids might decide to experiment with an alternative lifestyle? Sure, that’s been known to happen ever since the first kids decided to push back against their parents' lifestyle. There was abundant parental concern when kids decided to experiment with “deviant” sexual mores in the ‘60s and ‘70s flower-child, commune-building, free-love “revolution”. But no one proposed passing federal laws or even considered adopting a constitutional amendment.

How about polygamy? That’s back in the news recently, with a Utah polygamist now being included on the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted List. How many American young men might be drawn into that little fantasy? Why is there no proposed constitutional amendment dealing with that threat? The answer is because almost every state has already addressed that subject in its family law policies, which they can do and are doing on the subject of gay marriage without the help of Congress and without having to amend the U.S. Constitution.

How about men and women living together and having children out of wedlock? Doesn’t that violate at least as many Biblical passages as homosexuality? Why aren’t there loud demands in support of a ban on shacking up or a ban on babies whose mommy and daddy are “living in sin”? Why aren’t all so-called sexual sins being treated the same way in this attempt to save the American family from its tumble down the slippery slope to the path of ruin?

And, if we’re going to be guided by the Bible on matters of social policy, don’t we have to address other subjects such as the Bible’s injunction against women cutting their hair; women speaking in church; women leading men; women teaching men; or men associating with menstruating women? When are we going to stomp out those culture-warping deviations from inspired societal order?

Out of the universe of things that the Bible and other scriptures supposedly condemn, how in the world did gay marriage or other gay rights get selected for this oh-so-special attention? Isn’t it just because macho, chest-thumping, knuckle-dragging guys can’t stomach the idea of Adam and Steve getting it on in some apartment in San Francisco? Of course the reverse twist in that problem is that those same holy rollers are probably watching girl-on-girl porn in their basement at 3AM or at the Holiday Inn every time they leave town.

Are there threats to the American family that should be addressed by our society, our churches, or our government? Of course there are and some of them are big home busters. Let’s try on a short list, just for the sake of comparison.

Divorce; adultery; physical and emotional abuse of spouses or children; incest or other sexual abuse of children; alcoholism; drug use; street crime and gangs; poverty and the unsafe or inadequate housing, drinking water and food supply that come with poverty; crushing debt and other financial pressures; health crises and lack of medical care or insurance; war; etc. These things impact the well being of American families day after day. I’d rank all of them well above even the most hyperbolic theoretical impacts of gay marriage. I’d like our elected representatives and church leaders to keep their beady little eyes on these bouncing balls. When those threats are all well in hand, then they can look around for other threats to beat down, like that gnarly problem we have with women speaking in church, not to mention that dangerous hair cutting thing.

The family threat commentary that’s being bandied about in relation to gay marriage is nothing more than a pile of substance-free political rhetoric. It’s deliberately inflammatory and it’s fit for consumption only by small minded partisan zealots or the uninformed herd that blindly follows some pastoral command to run over a cliff. I don’t see how anyone who engages in a smidgen of critical thinking can come in to this decoy.

Said another way, when it comes to this threat, I just don’t get it.