Happy Birthday to Me!

Actually, Happy Birthday to Hair on the Soap – it’s one year old today! Like all one year olds, HOTS is hoping for a chocolate birthday cake that it can eat with its hands. In other words, it wants to make a bit of a mess in a fun sort of way. It wants to celebrate its lack of inhibitions and enjoy the present moment with everyone watching. While the motives of one year olds are somewhat obscure, it probably likes being the center of attention from time to time.

192 postings have been hung on the walls of this blog, an average of a little more than one every other day. As most blogs go, I suppose that’s not too bad in terms of consistent productivity. More importantly, I like to think that there’s been some content worth reading along the way. Suffice it to say, there have been relatively few times in the last year when someone in my family or my inner circle of friends has had to ask, “What do you think about …?”

Blogging is like exhibitionism. It can reveal some impressive strengths; but it can also reveal some unimpressive shortcomings. I trust I’ve revealed both. I think I’ve turned a few good phrases on these pages and that several postings are keepers. But, there have been a few that, in the rear view mirror, appear to have been road-kill. I thought I heard and felt something go thump-thump under the tires as I drove over a couple of those topics.

Blogging is also an interesting experience in personal growth. When I began I was hesitant to give out the link to anyone other than family and a small number of trusted friends. I think I feared the reaction of people outside that warm campfire circle. After all, I was revealing an inner voice that very few others had heard. As time passed, so did that concern. Now, I’m happy to give the link to almost anyone. I admit that there is still a single-digit list of people whose reaction I’d just as soon not have to deal with.

Expressing our inner voice leads to a couple of things that are very important to our well being – authenticity and integrity. It’s not healthy to hear one voice inside your head and another voice come outside your mouth. Finding a path to the fresh air of authenticity is vital, and aligning our words and actions with our beliefs is the only way to be whole; to be integrated; to have integrity. Some people will like what they hear and see in our integrated lives; some people won’t like it; others won’t quite know what to make of it. So be it. There’s a price to be paid for authenticity and integrity, but it’s an affordable price and well worth what we get in return – the freedom that comes with being true to ourselves.

If becoming authentic were a crime and I was charged with violating that law, then Exhibit A would probably be what I’ve written on the war in Iraq. Actually, the evidence against me would begin with what I didn’t write. Early on I approached the war as if I were walking on the thinnest of ice. I regarded it as a sensitive topic among family, friends and colleagues at work – too sensitive to take head on. As time passed it became obvious to me that I could no longer go on addressing a long list of other issues while allowing the most critical issue of our day to go unaddressed. Heaven knows it was being addressed inside my head. It eventually became a personal imperative to allow the inner voice to become the outer voice.

So, Hair on the Soap has been a gift from me to me – an offering of authenticity and integrity from my inner voice to my outer voice. I’m grateful. I won’t be so bold as to declare that I’m now a fully revealed, authentic and integrated man living a life inner and outer harmony. But, I’m better now than I was 365 days ago and I’ll settle for that.

It’s like finding hair on the soap and realizing, “Hey, that’s mine.” You may not be clean yet, but you’ve resolved one concern.