Tao Te Ching 9

Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.
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There’s a lot of talk about freedom these days. In the name of freedom, we chase after money and we chase after security. Everyone involved in such a chase believes that their objective lies at the end of the chase. The only thing at the end of that chase is the lie itself.

The most powerful word in these two lines is “unclench”. We can call it stress, anxiety, insecurity, or some other description of the internal tension inherent in chasing after something that we’re never going to get – enough. When do we have enough money, enough security, enough approval – enough of whatever it is that we’re chasing as the means to peace and happiness? If we feel the need to chase after something, then we’ll never have enough of whatever it is – we’ll never unclench.

We should act in a way that naturally gives birth to the approval of other people who are acting in a similar way – without either person caring about getting that approval. That kind of approval flows with a natural resonance, without care or chasing. We should give no thought to seeking the approval of people in some other way. If we do, we surrender our freedom to them; we’re held captive by our need for approval and by their willingness to give it.