A Pause

I’m one-third of the way through my brief commentaries on the Tao Te Ching. Many of the postings I made prior to September 1 were the result of hard labor. I worked and strained and struggled with many of them. It was heavy lifting and tiring. The postings I’ve made since September 1 have been just the opposite. They’ve flowed with relatively little effort.

I’m not sure what conclusions to draw from that observation. Just because something is consistently difficult doesn’t make it something to be abandoned and just because something flows with relative ease doesn’t make it something to be embraced. Someone else would undoubtedly have exactly the opposite experience. S/he would write with ease about politics, the war in Iraq or religious intolerance, whereas s/he would struggle mightily with commentary on a text like the Tao Te Ching.

For me, that latter has simply been more akin to my nature. Most of my new-age tendencies are rooted in old-age philosophies and worldviews. In time I suspect that I’ll return to what I perceive as heavier lifting, but for now it’s nice to rest in the flow of something that offers peace and well being through even momentary awareness.

I feel the need to admit the obvious. I regard the philosophy that I’ve written about over the last month to be sufficiently true to provide significantly helpful guidance for my life. But – that which seems easy on one level has embedded difficulty on another level. By that I mean, I don’t always walk the talk.

I wish I lived every moment of every day consistent with the principles that I’ve discussed over the last 30 days. But, I don’t. These teachings, which are natural for me to embrace and espouse, come equipped with their own strain, struggle and heavy lifting as I try to follow them. Staying in the present moment, avoiding dualist thinking, letting go of my multitude of attachments and aversions – are all a significant challenge for me. I’m a work in progress, to say the very least.

To those who know me and see the inconsistency, sometimes glaring, the problem lies with me not with the teachings I’m discussing here. In a month, a year, a decade, I hope to be more integrated. Integrity can be hard labor.

In the meantime, I practice.