Maya Con Dios

I was an hour late to work yesterday because I spent that time stroking a pretty little lady named Maya. She had long blonde hair, big soulful eyes and a pouty, come-hither nature that made her quite appealing.

Maya is a Yorkie. I was headed to the shower when I saw her wander up to our front door. The only animals we’ve had in our family have been immigrants who essentially walked up and knocked on our door. Our beloved Queensland healer, Sammy, arrived that way in April 1998. She became Dan’s best friend, providing him constant companionship over the four years they shared together. Sammy was often a true healer during that time. So, I’m not about to ignore four paws at the front door.

I picked Maya up and she was trembling, as females are inclined to do in my arms. As I stroked her she relaxed and seemed fine, as females are inclined to do in my arms. Then, filled with misplaced confidence in this new relationship, I decided to nuzzle her – at which time she went all Siegfried & Roy on me, as some females are inclined to do in the face of my nuzzle. If I didn’t have a goatee she would have turned my chin into kibble and bits! It was time to find her owner; it was clear that she was not intended to be another walk-up gift from God.

The tag on her collar provided the needed phone number. The lady who answered sounded nice, but a little harried. I could hear what sounded like a pack of dogs barking in the background so I wasn’t surprised that she hadn’t yet realized that Maya had left her husband for another man. I told the lady my address and she said she didn’t know where it was. I asked for her address and found that she lived two blocks away. I guess she doesn’t get out much. I gave her directions; whereupon she told me that she needed to get dressed first, which I very much appreciated. But, sensing a hint of delay in her voice, I gently told her that I needed to head to work soon and didn’t want to leave Maya at the front door. At that point I was about 5 – 10 minutes into the one-hour delay.

I thought maybe Maya had wandered for some time, so I tried to feed her a little of Sammy’s food, but she turned up her nose at it. I then put her down on the kitchen floor to see if she wanted a drink from Sammy’s water bowl. She didn’t; but, she apparently thought there wasn’t enough water there for Sammy so she left a puddle of it on the floor beside the bowl. Her little hard-to-get pout got less appealing.

Time passed. I made phone call number two to the lady who needed to get dressed – 20 minutes earlier. I announced myself as her dog-sitter. She said that her husband had gone to pick up Maya and should have been at my house by then. I agreed with her assessment. I asked if he had a cell phone; she said, yes he did – on their kitchen counter. I mentioned the work thing again. She said that she’d find her husband. I, of course, wanted her to find her dog first.

Another 20 minutes passed. I thought about putting Maya in the back yard with Sammy, but 1) Sammy hadn’t had her morning treat yet and 2) Sammy thinks all other dogs are edible treats. I pictured a scene that might best be described as Maya con dios. If I put Maya out there I was running the risk that she would quickly become cinco de Maya – i.e., five easy pieces of kibble and bits.

A third phone call made it clear that the lady’s husband was as lost as her dog. She agreed to come herself, because I mentioned the work thing again. I decided to wait outside on the sidewalk so I could be easily seen from almost two blocks away. Finally, after another 10 – 15 minutes I see a man walking down the sidewalk – and, I see a woman walking down the sidewalk, too - on the other side of the street.

Yep – they both walked; neither of them drove; neither of them followed the directions I had given the lady; neither of them explained how they both got to my place at the same time. Apparently, the man thought he was supposed to wait on their street corner because I was bringing Maya to him. Apparently, the lady thought the man was an idiot, which explained her desire to have a pack of yipping dogs as companions. They both thought I was kind – and late for work. I handed Maya over, and warned them to be careful about nuzzling her, because she might go all Siegfried & Roy on them.

So, as they say, no good deed goes – well – quite like you think it will.