Potomac Power Outage

I’ve taken several shots at the Rebs with little attention to the Dims. Don’t jump to any conclusions about the imbalance. The Rebs are “in power” so they present the naturally higher profile (i.e., target) of the incumbent. The Dims, on the other hand, if you’ll pardon the double negative, aren’t just “not in power” – they’re “out of power” altogether. The aptly-dubbed Dims are low-watt bulbs; they’re refrigerator lights. As a political party, they’re about 100 volts short of being a power supply. Just try using the word “electric” about them or their leadership right now – I dare you. Howard Dean sometimes acts like he’s grabbed a downed power line, but that doesn’t make him electrifying.

Unlike the Rebs, the Dims present the profile of the recumbent. They’re laying down on the job. They’ve lain down so low, they essentially aren’t there. You look for them because you’re sure they’re there somewhere, but they’re no where to be seen. They’re like the island apparitions on Lost – they make menacing noises; they rustle the trees; they can be heard whispering; they’re a phalanx of smoke that drifts in and out of the picture. The Dims run Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi in front of a bank of microphones for a minute or two once or twice a week; or they occasionally turn Ted Kennedy loose on the Senate floor or in a hearing room and he barks and howls for an hour or two – all while the rest of them are … well … hell … I have no idea how to finish this sentence.

The Dims in Washington seem to have followed the example set by the Dims in Texas – they got on a Greyhound in the middle of the night and fled across the border to the north. They’re apparently holed up in a Canadian Holiday Inn.

In America’s two-party system, the party that is not in power is supposed to act like they have the power to be in power at any moment. They are the essential “loyal opposition”. In an era when people in public office are usually elected by far less than a majority of the people, the opposing party is often the voice of the majority that got turned into a minority by not showing up at the ballot box. They are supposed to be strong enough to create the constructive tension that facilitates governmental decision making. They are supposed to be the reflection in the mirror that tells us our hair is combed; that our shirt and pants don’t clash; that we haven’t missed a belt loop; that our makeup is in place; that we have dark circles and blemishes that need attention; that we need to stand closer to the razor when we shave.

There is an occasional bright light on the horizon in each party, signaling the birth of a possible party savior. But by the time we saddle our camels and get up close to them these saviors have turned into another one of the barn animals standing around an empty manger. For example, Senator Barack Obama was widely heralded as a bright light in the Dim firmament – until he won his seat in the Senate. Now, he has literally and figuratively taken his seat. As Jon Stewart said in reference to Obama, “The Senate is where leaders go to die.”

The Bush administration has stamped “Titleist” on its forehead and crawled up on a golf tee, just waiting for someone to swing from the heels. The White House has teed up documented prisoner abuse; allegations about torture and secret prisons; potential Iraqi civil war; profound pre- and post-Katrina neglect; the outing of Valerie Plame; warrant-free NSA surveillance; the ports deal; a questionable budget with a monster deficit; and a Vice President who shoots old people. What do the Dims do – they grab their putter and try to roll one through the clown’s mouth.

What’s even more amazing is that some of the Reb leaders on the Hill have been far more aggressive than the Dims in holding the administration accountable. The Rebs are better in the role of the loyal opposition, no matter which party is in power. As for the Dim lights – they’re phoning in their performance – at least whenever the phones in that Canadian Holiday Inn are working.