A Lion in the House

Isak Dinesen said, “You know you are truly alive when you are living among lions. “ That quote is the source of the title for a new two-part, four-hour documentary on the PBS series “Independent Lens”. Called “A Lion in the House”, this documentary covers the heart-wrenching stories of five children each of whom is waging war against cancer. Filmed over a period of six years, it also tells the compelling stories of the five families who are immersed in that battle at their child’s side.

My wife and I watched the film over the last two nights. It took us back to the sights, sounds and smells of the war that Danny and our family waged for over four years. I expected to be deeply touched by the children, and I was. It’s impossible not to be deeply impacted by them – their faces; their eyes; their smiles; their tears; their pain; their moments of laughter and joy. You feel their hopes and their fears. You see their strength, courage, and resilience, all mixed in the context of their childhood innocence and adolescent bravado. But you also see the dawning of reality in the eyes of the older children, a dawn that signals the departure of innocence and bravado.

What I had not expected was the extent to which I would be impacted by the stories of the family members. I realized as I watched them that when you’re in a battle like that, as we have been, you’re too close to it and too immersed in it to appreciate the scope of what you’re going through. I found myself saying, “I don’t know how they did it;” only to later realize that I also meant, “I don’t know how we did it.”

It was all too familiar. In scene after scene we knew the thoughts and feelings coursing through and often pounding in the minds and hearts of the parents. We could anticipate their reactions and we understood their dilemmas. We saw our anger, frustration, lack of understanding, painful awareness, patience and impatience on their faces.

Back to Dinesen’s quote – there are two ways to view her reference to lions. Lions are a symbol of strength and courage, so we can easily apply that symbol to the remarkable children who fight cancer. They are the poster children for strength and courage and those who live with them are, indeed, made truly alive in their presence. These kids make life precious and they alter how those in their presence view and value life. The families of kids who have cancer know this lion.

But, lions are also powerful hunters and killers and they instill fear in all who cross their path in the animal kingdom. Cancer is like a lion in this regard and the fear of it also makes one truly alive in its presence, but in a different way. We never feel more alive than when we stand in the dark shadow of a life-threatening situation. Picture how you would feel if you knew that a lion were roaming through the rooms and hallways of your house. You would feel every heart beat; every nerve would be on full alert. Every sight, sound and smell would be significant. The families of kids who have cancer know this lion.

There is a lion in the house. Which lion we encounter is determined by how we choose to experience its presence, by what we chose to focus on. If our experience is one of love and our focus is on love, it is the lion in the heart of the child that we encounter. If our experience is one of fear and our focus is on fear, it is the lion that hunts and kills that we encounter. In the last two nights, we experienced and focused on far more love than fear; we experienced and focused on the children and their families far more than on the cancer they fought. That choice made the film inspirational.

That choice made the lion lie down with the lamb.